Top 30 Most Infamous TV Show Opening Voiceovers
Seguro que todos sus habeis parado alguna vez a oir las chorradas que dicen en las entradillas de las series… por ejemplo, la que decian en «El Coche Fantastico»…. Michael Knight, un luchador solitario…. Pues bien buscando por ahi he encontrado un raking de las 30 peores entradillas de estas series. Esta en ingles, pero vale la pena el leerlo y te partes el culo, y mas cuando lo lees en ingles.
Halas a LEER MAS >>>
After reading this post from the Empire Blog about TV show opening voiceovers, I got inspired to create my own Top 30 list. It surprised me how difficult it was to find a couple of these (a great source was Blackcatters World of Theme Song Lyrics). I have a feeling Im forgetting very obvious intros, but anyhow heres the list:
30. Seven Days
Ever wish you could live your last week over again? Well, my names Frank B. Parker and I get to all the time. I work for a secret government project experimenting in time travel. When things really get messed up, Im the guinea pig they send back to fix everything. Catch is, I can only go back seven days. [Video]
What if you can find brand new worlds, right here on Earth, where anything is possible: same planet, different dimensions? I found the gateway! [Video]
28. Day Break
My name is detective Brett Hopper and this is the day that changes everything. I will be framed for murder. My girlfriend Rita will be in danger. I know all this because Im living the same day.. over and over again.
They have come to Earth with the promise of peace. An alien race called the Taelons. But there are those who resist these alien companions. For the Taelons true mission, the secrets they hide, will forever alter our world. The fate of humanity now lies on those who dare challenge the future of Earth. [Video]
26. Dark Skies
My name is John Loengard. Im recording this because we may not live through the night. Theyre here, theyre hostile, and powerful people dont want you to know. History as we know it is a lie. [Video]
The Universe is a dangerous place. But in our future, my crew and I fight to make it safe. I am Dylan Hunt, Captain of the Andromeda Ascendant, and these .. are our adventures [Video]
24. Law and Order
In the criminal justice system the people are represented by two separate, yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate crime and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories. [Video]
23. Alien Nation
That was the scene in Californias Mojave Desert five years ago – our historic first view of the Newcomers ship. Theirs was a slave ship, carrying a quarter million beings bred to adapt and labour in any environment. But theyd washed ashore on Earth, with no way to get back to where they came from. And in the last five years, the Newcomers have become the latest addition to the population of Los Angeles
The day after tomorrow. A time when criminals rule the city. The only weapon that can stop them needs a driver. The most wanted man on wheels is about to change sides. Now against a corrupt system, a lo fight for justice. Viper is taking back the streets. [Video]
Ten years ago, all it took was one man and one car to get the job done. Now, the Foundation for Law and Government has assembled five highly skilled operatives, and paired them with the most advanced state-of-the-art vehicles, to take on a new breed of outlaw. They are Team Knight Rider. [Video]
War broke out in the Middle East. Domestic terrorism got out of control. The president tirelessly toured the country, urging patience and calm. Then Air Force One went down and the president is presumed dead. Marshall law was declared and the United States of America was turned overnight into a police state. Curfews were enforced, identity papers were required for all. Penalties for unlawful behavior were harsh and certain. And it worked too for a time. The riots stopped. Everyone had food, water and power. Stability and peace returned to the country, but it was peace not Freedom. And that was a price some of us would not pay. [Video]
My name is Molly Caffrey, and I work for the Federal Government. I deal in worst case scenarios, the unthinkable. On September 16th, 2005, the unthinkable happened. An extraterrestrial object appeared off the bow of a naval freighter. The entire crew was exposed to a high frequency signal. Some died instantly. Others began to change. They are now stronger, more resilient. They dream of alien landscapes. And they are driven by the impulse to infect others. Several of the crewmen are now loose in the United States. They will strike anytime, anyplace, anyone. Their goal: to turn us into them. But I have a plan to stop them. That plan is called Threshold. [Video]
Since the beginning of time, Mankind has existed between the World of Light and the World of Darkness. This journal chronicles the work of our secret society, known as The Legacy, created to protect the innocent from those creatures that inhabit the Shadows and the Night. [Video]
17. Birds of Prey
Alfred Pennyworth: Legend tells of a caped crusader, Batman, guardian of New Gotham, and his one, true love, Catwoman, the queen of the criminal underworld. Their passion left behind something extraordinary: a daughter, Huntress. Half meta-human, she has taken up her fathers mantle and fights to protect the innocent and helpless. Joining her in this struggle, Oracle, once Batmans prot?, Batgirl, she was caught in the crossfire of the war between Batman and Joker. Now she fights crime a different way, a master of the cyber-realms and trainer to heroes. Together, they have taken in Dinah, a meta-human herself, with powers that she is only beginning to explore. These three are the protectors of New Gotham: the Birds of Prey. My name is Alfred Pennyworth and this is their story. [Video]
16. Early Edition
What if you knew beyond a doubt what was going to happen tomorrow? Sure, I know its crazy but what if you did? Whether youd be rich, or poor; a hero, or a loser; lucky in love, unlucky in life. What would you do? What if, by some magic, you found the power to really change things? People, events, maybe even your life? Would you even know where to start? Maybe you cant know. Until it happens. [Video]
The year is 1987 and NASA launches the last of Americas deep space probes. In a freak mishap, Ranger 3 and its pilot, Captain William Buck Rogers are blown out of their trajectory – into an orbit which freezes his life-support systems and returns Buck Rogers to Earth five hundred years later. [Video]
14. Babylon 5 (Season 4)
Lennier: It was the year of fire
Zack Allan: the year of destruction
GKar: the year we took back what was ours.
Lyta Alexander: It was the year of rebirth
Vir Cotto: the year of great sadness
Marcus Cole: the year of pain
Delenn: and a year of joy.
Londo Mollari: It was a new age.
Stephen Franklin: It was the end of history.
Susan Ivanova: It was the year everything changed.
Michael Garibaldi: The year is 2261.
John Sheridan: The place, Babylon 5. [Video]
Knight Rider, a shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist. Michael Knight, a young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the powerless, in a world of criminals who operate above the law. [Video]
This is the story of a time long ago, A time of myth and legend, when the Earth was still young. The ancient gods were petty and cruel, and they plagued mankind with suffering and beseiged them with terrors. For centuries the people had nowhere to turn, no one to look to for help. Until he arrived. He was a man like no other. Born of a beautiful mortal woman, but fathered by Zeus, king of the gods. Hercules possessed a strength the world had never seen, a strength surpassed only by the power of his heart .No matter what obstacle, as long as there were people crying for help, there was one man who would never rest. [Video]
In the time of ancient gods, warlords, and kings a land in toil cried out for a hero. She was Xena – a mighty princess . . . forged in the heat of battle. The power, the passion, the danger. Her courage will change the world. [Video]
He is immortal, born in the Highlands of Scotland, 400 years ago. He is not alone. There are others like him. Some good, some evil. For centuries, he has battled the forces of darkness, with holy ground his only refuge. He cannot die, unless you take his head and his power. In the end, there can be only one. He is Duncan MacLeod, the Highlander. [Video]
On screen: There are Pretenders among us. I was taken from my family. A child genius. Thirty-six hours and hes already demonstrating more talent than any of our others. Exploited by the Centre. How many people died because of what I thought up? Since I broke out Escaped Ive spent every moment searching for my past. Hes a Pretender, a genius who can become anyone that he wants to be. The Centre wants him alive. Preferably. He defends the weak and abused. Lifes a gift. Are you a doctor? I am today. [Video]
8. Quantum Leap
Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr. Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator and vanished . He woke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear. And so Dr. Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home. [Video]
7. SeaQuest DSV
The twenty first century mankind has colonized the last unexploded region on Earth, the ocean. As Captain of the Seaquest and its crew, we are its guardians. For beneath the surface lies the future. [Video]
There is nothing wrong with your television. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are now controlling the transmission. We control the horizontal and the vertical. We can deluge you with a thousand channels or expand one single image to crystal clarity and beyond. We can shape your vision to anything our imagination can conceive. For the next hour we will control all that you see and hear. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the deepest inner mind to the outer limits. [Video]
Once upon a time there were three little girls who went to the police academy. And they were each assigned very hazardous duties. But I took them away from all that. And now they work for me. My name is Charlie. [Video]
4. The A-Team
Ten years ago a crack commando unit was send to prison by a military court for a crime they didnt commit, these men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem – If no one else can help – and if you can find them – maybe you can hire the A-Team. [Video]
John Crichton: My name is John Crichton an astronaut. Three years ago I got shot through a wormhole. Im in a distant part of the universe aboard this living ship of escaped prisoners, my friends. Ive made enemies. Powerful. Dangerous. Now all I want is to find a way home, to warn Earth. Look upward, and share the wonders I have seen. [Video]
Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before. [Video]
1. Babylon 5 (Season 3)
Susan Ivanova: The Babylon Project was our last, best hope for peace. It failed. But in the year of the Shadow War, it became something greater: our last, best hope for victory. The year is 2260. The place, Babylon 5. [Video]